Anisha - The Long Lasting Flame




‘Oh, God, I beg of you,
I touch your feet time and again,
Next birth don't give me a daughter,
Give me Hell instead...’ 
--An old Folk Song from Uttar Pradesh


CHAPTER - ONE


“I am pregnant” Shreya just utters these words softly. Rajat was in just half laying against the bed-rest and playing with his mobile. He just looks to his beloved wife with a broad smile and says, 

“Thank you Jaan, I am so happy today”. 


Rajat and Shreya met five years back in Raja bazar science college on fest. Rajat at then an engineering student and Shreya pursuing her master’s in chemistry. So basically, it was Shreya’s fest and Rajat was just a guest there. However, Shreya performed a solo singing at that fest. In a magenta color saree and a single bindiya, makes her divinely graceful. Rajat was not able to move his eyes from her.  Rajat never believed that there is something called love at first site but that day he realizes that these absurd things actually exist. 

Rajat can’t sleep that night. More than love it was surprise for him. Since his teenage till date he has crossed paths of so many ladies but Shreya, how she has taken his heart in her first look with her deep dark eyes. 

Next day morning Rajat was standing outside Shreya’s campus gate. He has just lit the cigarette, same moment he saw Shreya is coming out of the gate. She wore a mustered color saree with bottle green border. One small matching bindiya, but most beautiful thing is her floating deep dark eyes decorated by night black kajal.

Rajat just threw the cigarette and ran to Shreya,

“Hi, I am Rajat. Would you mind if I take two minutes of yours?”
“Regarding…” Shreya said skeptically

Rajat was feeling nervous since he was trying to hang a cool dude type smile upon his face and then said,

“Well I am not good at arranging words. I can’t sleep after seeing you last night. Every time I close my eyes your face floats in front of me. I know you have already start thinking that this man is one of those lunatics who has just escape his asylum. Trust me it has never happens before. Your dark & mystic eyes have refused to leave my mind. It attracts me like anything. I can’t imagine anything without you. I never believed in love at first sight and fate has taken revenge on me.”

Rajat just finished the line and was breathing heavily. He was breathless.

“Look man you know nothing about me, my whereabouts and just gone crazy for me. You even don’t know I may love somebody or not. You just come and say these things to me.”

Suddenly Rajat’s face has gone stiff and then firmly but politely he said,

“I am so sorry madam. Yes, you are absolutely correct. How foolish am I.  I never consider that you might love someone. I was just carried away with my own emotional perspective selfishly. I am sorry for my behavior. I take a leave madam. Sorry again for disturbing you like this”

Rajat just walked away straight and not even giving a glance at Shreya, he knows if he did it once again, those eyes, he can’t put a single step ahead. He knows those deep dark eyes will chase him for his rest of life.
Rajat kept on walking with his thoughts. Suddenly a man taped his shoulder and said,

“Gentleman, I think that lady is calling you since sometime”

Rajat just turned back and saw, Shreya was trying to catch up, but her saree did not allow to gain required speed. She was breathing heavily. Rajat ran to her and said,

“What happened, you need some water?”

“You are a really strange man; I was calling you for such a long time, but you were running away like a horse” after gulping some water Shreya said.

Rajat was little perplexed. He was not able to understand why Shreya is here. He said to himself, “Is there any little possibility that she accepts my proposal”. Same moment he dismisses that thought and told his mind. “Don’t dare to dream that buddy, there is no hope”

“By the way why you leave like that, and I think you have some problem in your ears too”

“What makes you think so that I have a listening disability” Rajat said that with frown.

“Because you don’t listen properly, I said to you that I may love somebody.” Shreya stopped and smiled through her eyes.

Now the childish smile was back in Rajat’s face.

“Should we continue investigating my hearing problem standing in the middle of the road or we move towards that coffee shop for further discussion”

“Yes, we can, by the way I am Shreya”

“Hi, I am Rajat”

Then as usual love makes his own way and Rajat and Shreya meet again after a week and keep on meeting on regular intervals. As time flows after study Rajat joins a software conglomerate and Shreya stated her research. But love between them kept on growing day by day.

Rajat and his family are staying at heart of north Kolkata. Their family are one of those cults who are somewhere directly connected to the family of Sobha Bazar Raj Parivar few generations back. So, aristocracy always flows in their blood. Rajat’s father Ranjan used to worked as a bureaucrat in state government. Now being retired, he spends more time on books or News Channel at home. Ranjan’s Wife Nirmala is the key person in their family. She manages everything as per their family is concerned. Nirmala is one of those ladies who always takes pride in their legacy & aristocratic culture. Somehow, she never understands that her legacy and aristocracy is eventually transforming her into an orthodox frame of mind. Nirmala has been always very strict on her family and child pertaining to discipline. She believes too much expression of affection and love is a roadblock for her child’s future. She has always opted the best school, the best teacher and the best facilities for Rajat. When everyone praises Rajat’s success, Nirmala always feels proud silently about her decision. She has made it. She has designed Rajat’s life so great. If there is any place in the world where Nirmala is humble & courteous, then that is in the presence of their three hundred- and ten-years old Kul Devta , idol of Laxmi & Narayan. She always performs all pujas & rituals with all her devotion. She always believes that Maa Laxmi have her sight of grace on this family. That’s is the source of fundamental strength of their family.

Ranjan was always busy with his work and his club. He used to believe that life should be full of enjoyment and celebration. He has no regret about his life. He always admires that he is lucky that he got married to Nirmala who manage his home so well that he never felt the burden called family. He always felt that his family is in a picture-perfect condition, all the time. May be now a days he is feeling that this picture-perfect model makes his family really perfect but also same time lifeless as still picture. Ranjan knows it’s already too late to correct it. His family will be like this and Nirmala wants it to be like this only. So, he immerses himself in the world of books, isolated and lost.

Rajat since his childhood, had seen that his family moves with the clock. In time lunch, in time dinner, in time go to bed, everything goes as per routine only. There is no deviation in routine, every family member abided by that rule only. Sometimes he feels so lonely & suffocated that he wants to break this prisoner’s life and want to live on his own way. As many times he thinks that Nirmala’s one cold look evaporates all his rebellious strength and thoughts. He again gets back to his routine life. So, when he first met Shreya the rebellious Rajat was again reborn. He knew Nirmala would never accept Shreya gladly in her family. Rajat thought a lot of times but could not convince himself that he can manage his life without Shreya at any cost. Rajat even knew that convincing Nirmala would not be an easy task. He also knew that one day he needs to accomplish that task, there is no escape route.

Two years back one fine spring night Rajat said at dinner table,

“I have to say something to both of you” Rajat said with a bit of hesitation.

“What is this all about Rajat” Ranjan ask softly.

“I mean to say… umm.. I mean”

“Rajat this is not the way our family’s boys speak. Hope you have not forgotten which family you belong to. Your lifestyle has changed drastically now a days.” Nirmala said in disgust.

“Will you now tell us what you want to say”

“I love one girl & I want to marry her”

There was a pin drop silence in the entire room. Rapid sound of Rajat’s heartbeat had engulfed the room. 

CHAPTER - TWO


Somnath always gives priority to his family. His wife and two daughters, that’s the entire world for him. He never wants anything more than this small yet beautiful world of his. His wife, Urmila, may not support Somnath openly to pamper their daughters, but she also enjoys the same inside. Keya & Shreya these two daughters are very close to their parents. Keya got married last year and shifted to the Sates. Somnath initially was little reluctant towards the marriage, because he didn’t want to send Keya so far from him. Eventually he agreed and now happy too because Keya is happy there. As a father there is nothing more satisfactory than his daughter’s happily married life. A Daughter’s happy smile may be the most valuable lifelong earned wealth of any father. That day, it was one of pleasant Sunday morning of spring, Somnath just started reading the newspaper and looking for another round of tea and Shreya was roaming around here & there as a colorful butterfly.

Urmila called everyone at the dining table for Sunday breakfast. This is the one special day of the week where everybody sits and haves a lavish food and a long chat. Somnath has built this culture for a long time and it has always set a very positive tune for the entire day.
Today’s menu Somnath’s most favorite, Hot puffed Puri and light curry of white potato with black pepper. It reminds him of his childhood.

After giving sweets, showstopper of breakfast, in Shreya’s plate, Urmila suddenly asked,

“Shreya last Thursday you were riding a bike with a young boy, who is that boy?”

Shreya just coughed loudly and held the glass of water firmly & then took a sip slowly and then said,

“Nothing Mom, you are mixing me with some other girl. You are getting old now a days, you know.”
Urmila with a surprising tone said,

“What a rubbish, I saw it very clearly. You ask Tinka Masi, she was with me.”

Urmila finished the task at hand and came Infront of Shreya and looked directly to Shreya’s eyes and asked.

“Who is that boy? Tell me clearly. In so many years I have never seen you traveling in the backseat of any boy’s bike, so speak up”

With a very serious face Somnath said,

“Ah, Urmila I always wonder why you are wasting your talent in the kitchen, you should be in some police station. I am quite sure that a significant percentage of sates crime rate would be lower”

Both Shreya and Somnath broke into loud laughter.

Urmila turned to Somnath and said angrily,

“You know your blind love has encouraged her to do such kind of an act. You are spoiling their childhood.”

Somnath washed his hand in basin and then turned to Urmila and said calmly,

“You know Urmila, I have always provided them with their freedom with a sense of trust, that my daughter will never do anything which makes her father’s face hang down. This trust is also mutual. You know Urmila, every individual deserves respect irrespective to their gender, socioeconomic status or age. Your own children also deserve the same. If you don’t give respect to your own kids, then don’t expect them to reciprocate the same. One more thing, that if my daughter has chosen someone then she definitely believes that, they can walk together in the bumpy road of life. I respect that judgment of hers.”

Somnath then came and sat in front of Shreya and said,

“So, my dear butterfly, will you ask that bike rider to meet me up in coming Sunday for some discussion. Hope he won’t mind spending Sunday evening with his ‘may be’ future father in law.”

“I don’t know” Shreya just blushed and ran away from the room.

Somnath just laughed inside his mind then a little bit depressed. This little butterfly is also now ready to fly to her new nest. May be this is the bitter truth since her birth but knowing a truth and accepting the same has a hell lots of difference.

After a week Rajat and Somnath were sitting together in a small lawn owned by Somnath in south Kolkata.

Rajat was a little nervous, even Shreya told him many times that there is nothing to worry about. Somnath is a fun-loving person. He is very much approachable and friendly. So just be yourself and don’t be nervous. Now it seems that her advice didn’t work at all and he is very much nervous at this point of time.

After some dead long silence, Somnath started the conversation,

“So Rajat, you are in the Software industry, so why don’t you try to take up projects in some developed country and move there. As far as my limited understanding, I believe there are more better opportunities”

Rajat took the glass of water and drank half of it and then said,

“Actually uncle, my mother does not like, that I move out of Kolkata even. Earning money is not the key reason for my job. I loved the work that’s why I do it.”

“Well, it was just an advice. Leave it for the time being. Let’s me say something which you should know. I may not be a king but my daughter nothing less than a princess. I never regret of not having a son. My two daughters hold enough strength to boost me up when I needed. I don’t need a son. Their upbringing has been with a lot of love & care, So I can’t see their pain or tears in my lifetime.”

Somnath said firmly and looked straight towards Rajat.

Rajat smiled faintly and said,

“I understand Sir.” Rajat just murmured.

“So Rajat have you spoken about Shreya with your parents. Their opinion is also very much important in it. See Rajat maybe we belong to the same city and community still we have a huge difference in terms of our cultures & values. Most importantly you two have completely different upbringings. Hope you understand what I mean.”

“Yes uncle. I know, it wouldn’t be an easy task for Shreya to get adjusted in our family. I can only assure you that I will be there for her at any situation, always.”

“Then Rajat, you let me know once you have a word with your parents.”

“Yes Uncle. I will definitely talk to them very soon.”

Last few words Rajat just pretended to say to Somnath, but actually he was saying to himself. He desperately needed courage to talk about this girl & his own marriage with his parents, keeping in mind that these are against their century old family tradition.

Rajat knew that the first task in hand is to convey this piece of information to Nirmala, and which looks like climbing the mount Everest without an oxygen cylinder.

Even after Rajat left, Somnath kept on sitting inside the lawn for quite some long time. Evening turned in to dusk & eventually into a dark night. Somnath was deep inside in his own web of thoughts. He is a lawyer by profession and knows how to see a person up to his darkest corner of mind by tearing the mask of civilization. Somnath was putting the points one by one mentally about Rajat. Rajat is a good looking smart young man. He belongs to a renounced family, earning good amount of money to run his own family. However, one thing was striking Somnath, that Rajat have some issue with his own decision making. He was a bit confused in each of his answers. Somehow Somnath thought that, this boy is still dependent on someone else about his own life’s decision. Somnath’s so many years of practice added enough wisdom to know, that this kind of boys normally lives under someone else’s shadow or else they just change the source only. Somnath was really concerned for her younger daughter. This stupid girl didn’t know where she was heading for.

That night Somnath called Shreya & Urmila after dinner and then said,

“Are you sure Shreya about this boy and this relationship?”

“Yes Daddy, don’t you like him?” Shreya asked with little anxiety.

“No, not at all, I like him very much. He is a young bright man. But sweetheart unfortunately marriage is not only about two persons in this country, it is about two families and people surrounded as well. You will face a lot of hardship there. I am really worried for you. I am also afraid that you may have to fight a few battles of your own in future.”

“I don’t think so Daddy. You are over thinking.”

Somnath exhaled a long breath and said,

“I’ll pray that my prediction proved wrong in due course of time, my sweetheart.”

Suddenly Shreya’s phone rang, Shreya just looked at the screen and checked that an unknown number was floating there. With a little bit hesitation Shreya picked up the call and said,

“Hello”

Somnath was looking at his daughter’s face which turned completely pale and her eyes was full of fear. Her hands were shaking.

Somnath held Shreya tightly and asked,

“Shreya, what happened?”

Shreya was somehow holding back her tears and said,

“Daddy, Rajat has met with a severe accident and He is admitted to the hospital. They got my number from emergency contact list and informed me. What should I do now?”

The moment just got frozen; it was like entire world for Shreya has just stopped forever. Only a few indiscipline tears were rolling over her chicks, silently.

CHAPTER - THREE



That awkward silence was a killer. Rajat was regretting why he said this to them in such a way. Each second was passing like it’s a decade. Rajat was waiting for the response from his parents but they were more in a shock than reacting. Nirmala still couldn’t believe what she heard. She was just thinking how Rajat could say like this, her own Rajat. Finally silence broke and Ranjan took the lead,

“Well Rajat, it’s been a little surprise for us. Will you please explain what you actually mean by this?”

Rajat somehow gained the courage & said,

“I want to marry Shreya. I met her few years back in her campus. We both love each other very much; I know it's looks disgraceful because I am advocating my own marriage. Shreya is a very good girl & she is doing research on chemistry. I thought I should say these things to both of you before it's too late.” 

Rajat took a pause, even cyclone inside, he seemed to be very calm outside.

Ranjan looked very surprised. After a few minutes he smiled & then said, 

“So, what do you expect both of us to do?” 

Rajat said in very low tone, 

“Daddy please meet Shreya once and her family. I am hopeful that both of you will like Shreya and her parents too.”

So far Nirmala was just looking down holding her forehead lightly, after Rajat’s last word she said,
 
“Rajat are you out of your mind? Are you becoming insane? What are you talking about? You know the rule of this family, it's always a tradition that we bring daughter-in-law as par the criteria set by our own ancestors. How could you think about such nonsense? We will never allow you to break our family tradition.”

Ranjan looked anxiously and then said to Nirmala,

“Don't take all the decisions right now, we should discuss about it and then will let Rajat know” 

Nirmala looked with full of anger to Ranjan and then said, 

“There is nothing to discuss, this is the final decision in this topic”

Rajat was becoming restless inside. He desperately said 

“Mom this is twentieth century, I have full rights to choose my bride, I don't have to obey those stupid rules which was maybe contextual back then.”

Nirmala said furiously, 

“No, you have to since I am alive. These are the rules, and this will be the rules. You look at yourself, that girl in last two years make you so rogue that you are talking to your parents like this. please stop this nonsense, enough is enough”
 
Nirmala just stamped towards her bedroom. 

Rajat looked at his father in such a way that he was sinking in the quicksand and Ranjan was the last man of hope.

Ranjan just looked down and slowly started walking towards bedroom,

Standing alone in the hall, Rajat was just about to cry; he was feeling so helpless that he was cursing his own life. He didn't know what would happen if Nirmala did not agree at all. On the same time life without Shreya he just couldn’t imagine, maybe death would be a better option then. 

He slowly moved to the study room and sat alone in the darkness. Sometimes darkness gave better comfort to the wounded soul than lights. It was not a complete darkness, fainted moonlight creating a magical background. Even in a low moonlight it was clear that tears were rolling down through Rajat’s face. Rajat suddenly felt suffocation about this house. It was felt like that entire darkness took a solid form and was slowly placing its strong hand over his neck. He just stood up and took his bike key. After a few minutes later, Rajat had been found in the middle of the Eastern Metropolitan Bypass road, riding his Royal Enfield but he didn’t have any destination in his mind. His mind was splitting up. He couldn’t choose between two precious ladies of his life – His mom & Shreya. That thought made his vision so blurred that he was unable to see, a fully loaded truck was turning from the left. When he actually realised, it was too late, even he tried to minimise the impact till the last moment, but it was inevitable.  A bright yellow light and a large cracking sound - this was the last memory of Rajat before lost his senses. 

Shreya looked helplessly to Somnath. Somnath firmly said, 

“Shreya this is not the time for cry, which hospital Rajat is admitted?” 

Shreya Said,

“It's Apollo daddy”

Shreya suddenly broke into a loud cry, she couldn’t take anymore. She was broken from inside. She just held her father’s hand strongly & said, 
“Daddy please save him. I can’t live without him.”

Somnath placed his hand over Shreya’s head and then said,
 
“Don't worry, nothing will happen to him. I'm bringing the car; you just meet me in gate within five minutes, we need to move fast”

It was already almost midnight, roads were absolute empty, Somnath was driving the car in maximum permissible speed. Shreya was Looking through the window but actually nothing captured in her eyes. Her vision was completely blank; it looks like she was sitting in the car, but her mind was somewhere else. Somnath observed the same through the corner of his eyes. So, he initiated the conversation to divert her mind. 

He asked Shreya,

“Did the hospital mention what kind of injury he had?”

“No”

“Okay, did they inform Rajat’s parents?” 

“I don't know” 

By the time Somnath asked another question She asked one, 

“How much time more left to reach the hospital?” 

“hardly another ten minutes” 

Somnath Started driving silently 

Last seventy-two hours was very difficult for everybody. No one able to move Shreya from hospital, once she heard that coming three days were very critical for Rajat, it was practically impossible to remove her from in front of Rajat. 

Even Rajat’s parents also requested Shreya to go home and take rest, but she was stubborn. After seventy-two hours when doctor said that Rajat was out of danger now, then only Shreya moved out from hospital. Those three days were difficult for Somnath too. Meeting Rajat’s parents in such a condition was itself embarrassing. It was tougher when he realised that Rajat’s mother Nirmala did not like their presence at all. Somnath understood that her pinching subjective statements were actually for him and his daughter only. It looked like she held responsible Shreya & Somnath for this entire accident. Being an Indian daughter’s father Somnath indulged all the insults. Somnath always heard that love is blind, but he practically seen it looking at his own daughter. But Shreya was in different world altogether. She did not notice who was coming or going and whatever people commented about her. She was completely in the state of shock unless until Rajat coming into senses. By that time bigger worry for Somnath was the future of his daughter in this family.

After almost twenty days, Rajat discharged from hospital. Shreya was still worried and keened to go with Rajat. Somnath somehow managed to retain her with him.
Few days passed after Rajat’s returned to home, Ranjan & Nirmala was on their bedroom. Nirmala was sitting in front of dressing table & combing hair, day’s last touch to herself. Ranjan was Reading a book. Ranjan closed the book and kept in bedside table & then turned to Nirmala and said, 
 
“So, what are you thinking about Shreya”

Nirmala responded coldly,

“Why I should think about Shreya, we closed that discussions right?” 

“No, we did not, why don't you understand that they love each other very much. I observed her closely during this hospitalisation days. She is a really decent good girl. Her love for our son is very honest & genuine. She really cares our son’s wellbeing. Such a scholar, still so down to the earth. I can’t find any reason for not accepting her as a daughter-in-law.”

“I think you have forgotten one big reason; she does not belong to any aristocrat family. It’s not the enough reason to reject her. Remember, love does not stand in front of our family’s traditional customs. I never allow Shreya to be a daughter-in-law of this house.”

“Nirmala, what are you saying? Your son’s happiness does means nothing to you? Some pseudo aristocracy is now bigger than your own blood? If something happened that night to Rajat, will you ever able to forgive yourself”

“Nothing would happen to him; I have complete faith on blessings of Maa Laxmi. Nothing wrong can be happen in our family” 

Ranjan got a little frustrated with her statement but he calmed down and said,

“I know you always believe that your tough discipline and strictness make Rajat successful. I never interfere in his upbringing. Actually, I never interfere any of your decisions. I always respect and accept your all decisions about our home, Rajat and our lives, but this time I can not accept that. In the name of family customs and tradition, I can’t sacrifice my son’s lifelong happiness. I can’t let it happen.”

Nirmal close the night cream box which she was applying to her face, then said,

“Its already too late. Let’s go to sleep Ranjan.”

Ranjan knew that this was the way Nirmala showed her adamant attitude towards the decision. She basically declared by above statement that she would not change her decision, so, no point of discussing the same. Since his marriage Ranjan accepted Nirmala’s all decisions. But today something gone wrong, his old age or Rajat’s life less face which triggered Ranjan that may be only god knows. This time Ranjan did not stop here. 

Ranjan took some pause and then said,

“Nirmala, we have not finished yet.”

Nirmala was setting her pillow; she looked very strangely to Ranjan. 

Ranjan continued,

“Nirmala, it’s almost thirty years now, still my wounds on soul are not recovered. Still I am bleeding inside. I can’t take any more such pain.”

Nirmala was startled like she touched an open electric wire. 

Nirmal said in a hissing tone,

“Ranjan we mutually agreed that we will never discuss this topic ever, then why you are bringing this to me from the grave of time. Why?”
Ranjan held Nirmal’s hand softly and then said,

“Yes, we are, but situation force me to say that. Nirmala, in our entire long married life I never ask anything from you. I never feel that anything missing in our life. But today I am begging you please return my son’s happiness. Please.”

“Ranjan what are you doing? Why you are behaving like this”

“No Nirmala, today I need your word that you accept Shreya as a daughter-in-law of this House.”

Nirmala wake up from the bed, and scream loudly,

“Okay, fine but remember one thing Ranjan this is the last thing I am agreeing to, never ever come back to me with any more request to change in our family customs. Remember that very clearly.”

After few hours, when room was completely dark & Nirmala was sleeping deeply, Ranjan was still awake. He was smiling silently. Today he fought not only for his son also for himself. He knew no one in this world would believe that but it was the truth. He saw the same eyes, same smile in another person after thirty years and that person was none other than Shreya. 

As people say good times fly in a blink of an eye. Rajat still can’t believe that their marriage past two years. It’s still feels like a dream. Rajat still remember that day as like yesterday, when Ranjan came and confirmed that Nirmala agreed to their marriage. He was the happiest person of the world at that point of time. Well entire marriage process was not frictionless but Ranjan & Somnath did their best to make it run, together. Shreya is still not accepted completely by Nirmala, but relationship between them now at least amendable condition. However, she is now the most favorite person of Ranjan. Shreya also enjoys a lot, the love and affection of Ranjan, that helps her to relief some parting pain of her own father. Rajat thinks that his life is complete now, but destiny has different plan. 

“I am pregnant” Shreya just utters these words softly. Rajat was in just half laying against the bed-rest and playing with his mobile. He just looks to his beloved wife with a broad smile and says, 

“Thank you Jaan, I am so happy today”. 

Shreya smiles and hugged Rajat tightly.

Ranjan is relaxing on his favorite armchair. Now-a-days may be that is the only thing he likes the most. Presence of Shreya helps him to recover a very old wound. Rajat comes and stands before Ranjan. Ranjan opens his eyes and then says,

“Do you want to tell me something?”

“Dad, you are going to be grandfather soon.”

Ranjan has mixed expression. It is mixed with happiness & despondency. Ranjan smiles faintly and then says,

“Great, man! Congratulations. By the way have you told Shreya the customs & tradition of our family?” 

In own mind Ranjan was saying “It’s not a tradition, it’s a curse.”

Rajat’s face is suddenly turns pale. He was completely forgotten that he is leaving under the legacy of great ancestors of kings. His happiness just evaporates by thinking of coming possibilities.

Rajat murmurs,

“No, I didn’t.”

Ranjan looks straight to his Son’s eyes only to find blankness in both sides.


CHAPTER - FOUR




1985: Mid November: North Kolkata 

Happiness has a very mystique aura & a very peculiar nature. When & how it will come nobody knows. But definitely when it will come; it will leave its mark prominently in your surroundings. Suddenly you will be just mesmerised by that aura and every normal thing around you, will become magical. You would love to be watching them.  

Ranjan Raychaudhuri, the bright, young IAS officer, was just thinking those above lines when he was waiting in a traffic signal. A sharp nasty sound of defective electric horn, originated from similarly dirty looking old Austin car, just beside him, broke the thread of his thoughts. 

If it was like any other days, Ranjan did not know how he would react to it, but that day he just smiled and shifted the gear from neutral to one. He was happy in true sense, that day. Every day’s irritating traffic, unbearable cacophony, those half naked beggars, that lost kite which was hanging through an electric pole, he is liking all these; all of them. Happiness actually never exits outside, it is always inside, unfortunately we spent our whole life desperately looking for the same all the places except inside. 

Ranjan smiled on his own thoughts. One happy news turned him in to a philosopher from a diplomatic bureaucrat.  

Few Hours before in writer’s building, Ranjan just came out from Chief secretaries’ room, office boy come and said,

“Sir you have phone call from your home.”

 Ranjan came to his cabin and pick the phone receiver and said,

“Hello?”

“Is it my dear husband?” Nirmala asked from the other end. 

“Yes, my dear wife, suddenly in working hour your phone, a pleasant surprise. Is everything all right at home?”

“Yes, yes everything is okay. Why can’t I call you just like that?”

“Yes, you definitely can, but I am not used to it. That’s it.”

“Basically, I just want to discuss one serious matter with you urgently.”

“Yes. Please.”

“I think we are not doing Justice to Rajat. We are not taking care him properly”

Ranjan was perplexed what she was talking about. Ranjan had his two years old son. All love and care were surrounded to him only. He didn’t express his feelings and said normally,

“What you actually mean by that?”

“I mean, he is growing up and he is felling very lonely, nobody is with him all the time to play together.”

Rajat was about to say that, “we all are there for him” but suddenly one thought came to his mind, he said,

“Nirmala, is this the thing what I am thinking off?”

Nirmala giggled and said,

“Mr. Raychaudhuri, do you know that you are a smart bureaucrat. Bye for now.”

Nirmal did not wait for Ranjan’s next word and hanged the phone. 

Even after phone line was disconnected, Ranjan was holding the receiver. He was thinking that; then, he was correct. Nirmal got pregnant again. The Aura of happiness started mixing slowly in his consciousness. He was smiling silently.  Sound of dial tone of phone brought him back to the reality. Ranjan put the receiver on the cradle and pushed his chair’s head rest back. He was looking at old rusty, noisy & ugly celling fan of his office but his eyes were full of happy future moments. 

Ranjan lost his father in very early stage of life. He could not remember him properly even. His mother, Damayanti brought him up single-handedly. She was a carrier of a true noble royal bloodline. Her dignity, personality and graceful presence reinforce the same every moment. Nirmala was not his mother’s first choice even was not a choice at all. But he understood his son very well & he knew that Ranjan’s choice was Nirmala. She knew that time was changing and to keep the control in hand she needed to adopt certain things. There was nothing wrong with Nirmala, she belongs to rich & aristocrat family, studied in convent school, except she did not carry any nobility of royal blood line. One thing probably all royal blood line carries with their genes & that is finest level of diplomacy. Damayanti was also not an exception. She never made Nirmala feel that she did not like her but on the same time she never allowed her to come closer to two things, one was her heart & another was their pooja’s room. Nirmala’s first day in this house, she tactically conveyed this message though their family priest that without a royal blood nobody allowed to enter this pooja room. 

It was true, that even it was a arrange marriage for them but Ranjan started liking her when he first saw her.  Eventually after marriage that turned into a strong feeling of love for her. Ranjan just parked the car and entered house. Damayanti was reading a book with full concentration, when relaxing in her favorite easy chair. Ranjan sat in front of her mother. Damayanti folded the page and closed the book then she put her spectacle down & looked at Ranjan with smiling face. Ranjan just placed her head in mother’s lap. Damayanti knew whenever Ranjan is very happy or extremely sad, he looked for this place, his own place of comfort. Damayanti placed her hand over Ranjan’s head and started brushing his hair with fingers. After some silent moment, she asked,

“What happen? Everything is all right at office?”

“Yes, maa. Do I need a reason for this?”

“Have I said you that” 

Damayanti said & then both Laughed.  

Winter was sending the message that she is coming by shortening the daytime. Slowly a smoky shadow of darkness covered the veranda including the mother & son. Damayanti asked politely,

“Ranjan you need to get up. My evening worship time is near.”

“Maa, five minutes more”

Damayanti knew Ranjan’s love and care for her so honest and genuine since his childhood that she couldn’t refuse any of his request on his face. She loved her son very much but some time she needed to tweak between mother’s love and her royal duty. 

Nirmala was standing alone in front of a window. The lights of Kolkata city started sparkling one by one. From far, the sound of blowing conch was coming, one street hawker was still canvassing his product while walking through the lane. Nirmala always liked this specific time of the day and loved to watch this metamorphosis of the city. But today yet she was watching the same, but not able to relish. She was agitated inside. Some unknown fear was eating her mind like an invisible termite. Suddenly she felt a warm breath on her neck, she knew it was Ranjan. Very known smell of perfume already declared that this was her very own man. Nirmala turned back and put her arms around Ranjan’s neck and said,

“Now you get the time to meet your wife. For so long, I was waiting for you.”

“I am so happy for you. You made my life so joyful that I never imagine. Thank you.”

Ranjan Observed that his happiness was not spreading to his wife’s face. He thought for a while and then asked,

“What is the issue Nirmala? Is that the same fear you are facing again?”

Nirmala just nodded that somehow, she was not making eye contact with him.

Ranjan walked towards her and then held her tightly with his strong arms and then said,

“I told you last time that I am not going to obey those stupid rules of our family. If needed, I will talk to maa and she will not deny my request. I told you that before too, then why you are so scared.”

Nirmala asked,

“Have you told maa about this?”

“No, lets visit the Dr. Bakshi first and then I shall tell her in right time. You don’t need to worry about it.”

Next day morning Ranjan dropped Nirmala to Dr. Bakshi’s clinic and left for office. 

“Call me up once you reached the house after test” Ranjan Said.

“Yes, I will.”

That day Chief minister at then had called an urgent meeting with all concern bureaucrats. So Ranjan was not in cabin for quite a long time. Once he had returned to his cabin, the office boy came and said,
“Sir, in last two hours, ten phone calls had been come from your home. Requested you to call back.” 
Ranjan made an indication with hand to bring some tea for him, then he dialled home telephone number. After two rings Nirmala picked up the Phone. 

“Hello”

“You called me many times; sorry I was in a meeting with CM. Have you done with your test today? Is result come out?”

“Yes.” Nirmala said it in a very serious tone.

“So, what is it?”

“Ranjan, this time Lord Narayan does not bless us.” Nirmala was started sobbing. 

Ranjan took a little pause and concealed his own worry. He said it very calmly,

“Why are you so tensed and crying. Even it’s a girl, she is our own child. I will talk to maa tonight and make her understand that those century old customs do not have any value in these modern days. I am confident she will not refuse my request.”

Ranjan said those words calmly to comfort Nirmala. Inside he knew it was not an easy task, he was going to change a rule of Raychaudhuri family’s which was there for more than centuries and not a single man abled to change it, till date. 

After dinner Ranjan knocked the door of Damayanti and said,

“Maa, may I come in?”

Damayanti was just going to sit for her night prayer, she knew if it was not absolute emergency no one dare to disturb at this time. She just tried to calculate the possible urgent scenario very quickly but not able to come to any conclusion. Then she said,

“Yes, Ranjan please come inside. What happened? Is everything all right?”

“Yes maa, all is good.”

Damayanti understood that there was no emergency right now. Her intelligence also made her understand that maybe it was an anticipated future emergency or might be bigger than that. She sat in crossed leg on bed and wrapped herself with pashmina. She could foresee that this discussion would not be finished in a short span of time. She looked straight to Ranjan and kept waiting till the time Ranjan opened up. 

Ranjan thought of three or four options that how he would present this entire thing to Damayanti but at that moment he did not find any of them effective. Then he decided that he would made it straight and simple. 

Ranjan finally said,

“Maa, there is a news for you. Nirmala is pregnant.”

“That’s a very good news.” Damayanti said it in very flat but in inquisitive tome. 

“Maa, there is a small problem in it. This time it’s a girl child.” 

Damayanti remain silent for few seconds and then said,

“Then also you know the customs of Raychaudhuri family.”

Damayanti was still not clear why Ranjan came to discuss this thing in so late of night. 
Ranjan said softly,

“Yes, I know that but Maa, we want to have this girl this time. I need your blessings for the same.”
Damayanti suddenly became alert, Ranjan did not use word ‘permission’, he used ‘blessings’. It meant Ranjan already took his decision. She still gave a try, she said,

“No, you can’t. You know that. We never have any girl child in this blood line. That is the only strict rituals we are following for so long and no deviation at all. How could you think to break that?”
“Maa, this is utter nonsense you are asking. Please understand people will lough at us for our foolish rules. I can understand when this ritual was started there was a purpose but still it was a brutal process.”
“What you try to mean?”

“Maa, this ritual was started when kings are used to rule, they don’t trust anybody, so they need an own blood line to protect their kingdom generation after generation. A son only can fulfil that purpose so entire social inclination to male child had been increased. But if you compare with today, it’s a useless rule, no purpose in today’s context. We the so called Raychaudhuri’s are following that ritual blindly and filling our hand with innocent girl’s blood strain, generation after generation. Don’t you think we should stop this right here right now.”

“Ranjan please control your harshness, you are talking about your own forefathers not others. Secondly what about our own family progression? If we don’t have son and grandson who will take our blood line forward”

“Maa, is this not a barbaric custom? How many generations will we keep on killing girl child in the name of family progression? Maa, I could even understand thought process of the people who are uneducated, poor and leaving bottom of the social pyramid. They think that a son is a resource, he can add on earning. But a daughter is a liability and burden. Somehow, I feel we are more culprit than those people. You know why? because we kill those girls in the name of ritual, pride, aristocracy, honour & family progression. Where we, who are so called elite families, should encourage girls to grow so that rest part of society adopts the same. But look at today’s world maa, a daughter is not less than a son in any virtue. Women are performing better than any men in their respective fields.”

“Ranjan, we have lost everything post-independence and keep on loosing day by day till now. We lost our land, our subjects, our honour, our dignity, everything we earn after hard work of generation after generation. We can’t lose our blood line too. That’s the only thing we can take forward.” Damayanti said rigidly.

Ranjan Shrugged her shoulders in utter frustration. He took some pause to get control over his emotions then he said,

“Maa, being a woman how could you ask to kill another woman? Why a woman can’t stand with another woman when it is needed. Being a man, if I can understand this then why can’t you?” 
Damayanti did not responded to that. Ranjan finally said,

“you never deny any of my request since my childhood. I still believe on your intellect and judgment power. Please consider my request and bless our girl.”

Damayanti knew that Ranjan was adamant that time, more discussion will lead further argument. She understood that this war could not be won hand to hand combat.  She concealed her true emotions and said calmly,

“Ranjan, I can’t say that I am happily accepting your proposal, but to me nothing comes first when it’s a matter of your happiness. So, I may not support you but will not stand against your way too.”

Ranjan feels relief inside. Finally, his mother had agreed. That would be a surprisingly great news for Nirmala. He smiles & said,

“I knew Maa, you will never refuse my requests. It’s already too late. Please complete your prayer and go to sleep.”

Damayanti smiled and nodded as a loving mother. If Ranjan’s vision was not blurred with his overjoyed mind, he could see the sign of thunderstorm in his mother’s cold eyes. 

Damayanti started rotating the prayer beads silently, her mind was full of anger, she did not know what she would do, but she would not allow this girl to take birth in this mortal world for sure.

A week already passed after all those discussions. Life was moving as usual. The fear of Nirmala started fading away slowly. She knew Ranjan was very happy for this girl child. He was so excited about her that last six days he was continuously talking about only her, so many plans he had already made for his lovely daughter. Ranjan was out of town since yesterday due to official trip to Delhi. 

Nirmala was also started thinking about her daughter, after all how long a mother can be away from her daughter. She was little absent minded with all those thoughts, at then, old servant of house came and informed her that Damayanti was calling her in pooja’s house. 

Nirmala looked at the old wall clock, that was Damayanti time to stay at pooja’s room. This time she never met anybody even it was an extreme urgency. She was surprised. She started walking towards that with a very slow footstep. She was feeling very uneasy inside, like something very uncanny was going to happen soon. 

Damayanti was sorting and washing different flowers from a big thali for puja. She was wearing a milk white silk sari with no border. Hr hair was knotted tightly on top; silver hairs were complementing her dress. She sat crossed legs on a mat in the floor, kept her spinal absolute straight, form far she was appearing as a royal yogini. 

Nirmala always tried to avoid this part of house. Every time she came in front of pooja room, it always made her realise that she was not part of this family. She could not cross the doorway of pooja’s room. She had not earned that. This sense of feeling always pinched her ego & feelings. She knew, she would be a second-class member in this great Raychaudhuri family, for rest of her life. 

Nirmala slowly came to doorway of pooja room and said very softly,

“Maa, are you looking for me?”

Damayanti, didn’t turn her head but she said,

“Yes Nirmala, I need to discuss certain things with you. Hope this will not interrupt any of your urgent work.”

“Not at all Maa, please order me, what can I do for you?”

From her first day in this house, she was traying to please her mother-in-law, but she knew very well she was not successful even for a one-time. Damayanti never expressed her displeasure by her actions or words, but Nirmala felt it each time. 

Damayanti said in very cosy tone,

“I understand your pain Nirmala, being a wife of this family, you are not allowed to serve our kul Devta, even you can’t enter this pooja room. It’s really very unfortunate. Not only that, if you don’t get chance to serve the Kul Devta then that right will be transferred to our distanced cousins. You already know very well that who has that right, she will dominate in all decision making of entire Raychaudhuri family.”

Nirmala was not able to understand why she was digging all these old wounds of her. Whatever she was saying she heard those things lots of time. She was feeling disgusted, but she was not exposing her internal feelings. She was standing still in doorway and looking at ground. 

“I know you don’t want to listen all these time and time but that was not my purpose of today. You know Ranjan has a very modern mentality & above this he also works for a leftist government. Now a days his entire friend circle is full of leftist comrade and self-declared intellectuals. You know what leftist are? they don’t believe neither god nor devil.” Damayanti gave a very shocking expression through her body language after saying the last line. 

Nirmala was patiently waiting, where was this discussion leading to. Damayanti took a long breath and then continue,

“So, I don’t expect from him that he will understand the sentiment of this family, rituals, legacy. But I do it a lot from you Nirmala. I know you had given your best all the time to maintain this legacy. You know Nirmala, it’s the misfortune for all daughters-in -law that whatever they have done, those were never enough. Today I want to change that misfortune. I have decided to declare you as a part of our Royal blood stream. I spoke to head priest too, a small yajna may be needed to perform that’s all. Moreover, my endorsement is good enough for you to continue this royal duty after me.”

Damayanti looked sharply & started observing the expressions of Nirmala. 

Nirmala could not believe what she actually heard. How Lord Narayana & Devi Laxmi granted her so long wish in this unexpected way. She was very happy at that moment & it was coming out very clearly from her body language. 

Observing the same, Damayanti was smiling inside her mind by thinking that she hit the right place. 
Now she brought the final arrow form her quiver, she said with little hesitation, 

“You know Nirmala, a small problem we have in this entire process.”

“What is that maa?” Nirmala asked the same very anxiously. 

“You know all these relatives of ours, they are always wanting to pull us down. They are just waiting for one mistake of ours so that they can snatch the power centre from our family. You can not deny that you don’t carry any royal blood line. Somehow, I manage that part even, but giving birth a girl child at this juncture will be a devasting step. I may not manage both issues same time”

A very known fear suddenly wrapped Nirmala, she asked in a very shaken voice,

“What you are asking me to do Maa?”

In a rock cold tone Damayanti said,

“I am not forcing you, it’s still your own decision. I suggest you for abortion of the child. You know, child can be conceived again in future, once you became part of Royal clan.”

Nirmala can’t express her shock. Suddenly she felt that someone had thrown darkness in her vision; it was getting dark to darker each time. 

Nirmala fell in ground. She was totally unconscious. 



CHAPTER FIVE


Ranjan was sitting alone on beach. Here sand was not golden, it was white like silver. As far one’s vision could go, only waves after waves of crystal-clear blue water. Far far away, in the horizon, a deep orange sun was trying to submerge in this blue ocean.  A pack of blustery wind was sending everything away, Ranjan’s hair was becoming wild with each blow.  His white dress was also shining along with silver sand. He could not remember how long he was sitting here but that did not bother him. This moment was such a moment that keeping record of time became irrelevant, he wished that he could live this moment for infinite. A little girl was making castles with sand very close by of Ranjan. She would be around four to five years old. Her hair was dark brownish & curly, this wild wind playing with this in full swing. Her eyes were full of life & curiosity and also had a unique colour. Her pupil was complete dark, but iris was deep bluish grey.  Suddenly she giggled, it sounded like, someone just played a jal-tarnag in a swift hand. Suddenly from back she came and cuddled Ranjan and said,

“I love you papa.”

Ranjan smiled and held her small palm into his hand and said,

“I love you too.”

“Papa, never leave me alone.”

“I never will.”

Suddenly a big wave came and just broke over them. It was enormous flow of ocean water. Due to the force of water Ranjan and that girl got separated completely. When water flowed back to ocean, Ranjan was madly searching that girl but not able to find anywhere; entire beach was vacant & no one was there. Ranjan was suddenly startled looking at his dress, entire dress was full of small red palm print made by blood stain. Sun finally set into the ocean and entire blue ocean turned into red like a pool of blood. A faint sound of a girl was slowly coming to his ears like it was coming from too far.

Ranjan slowly opens his eyes. It is already late afternoon. Shreya is calling him for his evening tea. Ranjan looks straight to the eyes of Shreya, same dark pupil and deep bluish grey iris, she possesses. Ranjan smiles and takes the teacup. Shreya asks politely,

“Baba, do you need anything?”

“Nothing Shreya. Thanks for this lovely tea.”

Shreya smiles and leaves. Ranjan is resting on his easy chair and watching that Shreya leaving; but actually, he is lost in his own thoughts. This same dream he is experiencing for last thirty years. He could not able to save his daughter. Till the time he had returned from Delhi trip, all was over. Nirmala had already aborted that baby. He was in such a shock and furious that day that no one could able to face him. He was feeling like he lost everything. Lastly Damayanti forced to take charge and made him calm down. From that day his relationship with Nirmala was changed, from a true loving couple they became a decorative husband wife. Beneath that decoration an abyss of emptiness exists for ever.

Ranjan never saw his daughter but since that day he kept on meeting her in same dream years after years in regular interval. So, when he saw Shreya first time in hospital, he was shaken inside. How she has the same eyes as the girl in his dream. He puts lots of thought over it, but nothing comes to conclusion, apart from a pure coincidence.

After giving tea to Ranjan, Shreya is returning to her room, she is very happy now a days. She never thought of that being a mother is such an awful lovely feeling that all other feelings just fade away. A life, just living inside her, not only a part of her body also a part of her soul. Her very own personal possession.

She is still not clear why Rajat asks not to share this good news with her family, she thinks maybe he personally want to inform them. She smiles in her mind. She already makes one decision that Rajat doesn’t know. She decides two names for the bay. If it is a boy, then it should be Aansh & if it is a girl then Anisha. She is eagerly waiting for Rajat to come home.

Rajat is on the way to his home, his face is calm but internally he is having a huge conflict. How he can say all these things to Shreya but in the same time he must do before anybody does. It is such a pain that can’t express. It is burning him from inside. In that irritation he has decided to tell Shreya everything today evening only. He presses the accelerator of car; he wants to be at home as soon as possible. He needs to remove this burning sensation as early as possible. 

It is almost six past quarter, eastern part of India at this period of year has complete darkness all over. Streets lights are already on. Noise of vehicles from nearby roads are still coming but not so loud. Shreya is walking slowly in open terrace. Cold has not come yet, it will come after Diwali only, but a slight chill feeling already in air. Shreya is actually enjoying this weather and the surrounding environment. There is a sound of footsteps on the stairs. Shreya looks curiously, it is Rajat. Shreya smiles at him and then says,

“Oh, it is you. So, finally the latest updated software back to his old hardware.” After saying that She breaks into loud laughter.

Rajat smiles her back, but that smile does not have the touch of soul.

Shreya continues,

“Hope your day was great.”

She does not wait for Rajat’s reply, she continues again,

“You know, I want to tell you something for long. Thought today I should tell you the same.”

“I also want to tell you something today.”

Shreya smiles and says,

“Then let’s start with you only.”

Rajat Knows that his topic will end all future discussion and Shreya will not share her thoughts after that, so he says,

“No darling, let me hear your thoughts first.”

Shreya gladly agrees and says,

“You know, I have so many plans for upcoming child, like what will be dress, where to stay, what are the things we need to buy beforehand etc, but you know I have decided names too.”

“So, what are they?” Rajat says faintly.

Shreya smiles and says,

“If it is boy then Aansh & if it is girl then Anisha. Do you like the names? by the way have you thought something?”

Rajat slowly moving towards the edge of the roof terrace and holds the railing tightly. He can’t look at Shreya at this moment. He knows that he will not able to say all these things to her if he looks at her innocent happy eyes. So, he stares at the lighted skyline and says,

“Shreya, whatever things I am going to say now, I should have been said to you even much before you came to this house as my wife. I was afraid. I didn’t want to lose you either then or now. I was scared may be after listening these things you may leave me forever. I admit that I did wrong being a selfish, I did injustice to you. I make things more difficult for you.”

“What is this all about?” Shreya asks casually.

Rajat starts telling her the century old custom on childbirth and their history so far. How their family keeps the rights of serving Kul Devta generation after generation. He tells everything about it.

“we can only have boy child in our family to keep moving forward our royal blood line.”

After finishing his last statement. Rajat feels relief. His prolonged anxiety finally gone. But that is for a single moment. The next moment a cold sensation flows though his spine which nothing but a fear. He is just thinking how Shreya will react now.

Rajat slowly turns to Shreya and he is perplexed.

Shreya was smiling happily. She manages her hair from chilly wind and the says,

“You know Mr. Raychaudhuri you are really too good. I was almost going to believe this joke. Your style of telling this joke quite convincing. But you know at the end I am sure you can’t even think such kind of nonsense for our own child. But I have one request please don’t make such jokes for our child. Please.”

After saying that Shreya starts walking towards stairs to go to her room. Rajat not able to understand what he should do. He calls out her name,

“Shreya”

She turns her head and looks at Rajat, she finally able to see the pain in Rajat’s Eyes. She is stunned, she tells within her mind,

“Then it is true, but how such thing exists in this current time. How they can obey such nonsense customs till now! They all are well educated, and education always help human to choose between right and wrong. Then how they still believe this kind of ritual is a sacred one.”

Her chain of thoughts breaks by a cold touch over her hand. She suddenly realises that she is standing like a lifeless statue in the middle of the terrace and Rajat just holds her hand. She looks straight to Rajat’s eyes and says,

“This is total absurd. I cannot believe this kind of utopian logic of rituals that you all are following for generation after generation. Secondly How could you accept these things for our own child. Can’t you protest on it?”

Rajat says hurriedly,

“Shreya it’s not yet decided that we have to go through this - it can be a boy too, then all things will be over. We will be a big happy family only.” Rajat tries to comfort her.

“But Rajat, it is not sex determination illegal now? How can you say that we will determine that it’s a boy or girl right now?”

Rajat smiles sarcastically and says,

“In India you need to have either power or money to mould or break any law as per your wish.”

Shreya comes closure to Rajat, put her fingers across his fingers and hold his hand and then says very passionately,

“If it is a girl Rajat, will you not stand with me to fight against this meaningless custom? Can’t we fight for our own child?”

Rajat doesn’t say anything. He just lowers his eyes & looks at the ground.

Shreya gets her answer. Slowly she removes her hand from Rajat’s hold.

 

 Almost seven days are passed after that discussion. In between first ultra-sonography had been made as per Nirmala’s instruction. Shreya had no choice apart from going with Nirmala for test to the clinic. As Rajat said, money and power can do anything, they showed their true colours there and before leaving clinic they both knew that it is a girl. Nirmala did not utter a single word during the entire journey. After returning to home, Rajat & Shreya is not talking much to each other. Shreya not in a mood to talk and Rajat is running away to face her. Shreya is under very high stress; she can’t absorb the same even after seven days. She is in some sort of mental coma. How a civilised aristocrat family can follow such butcherly custom! She is standing alone in the balcony. Few droplets of tears rolled over without her knowledge. It is also not in her knowledge that Ranjan is watching her for quite some time from far.

Ranjan understands what is going inside her. He little hesitates but then clear his throat and says,

“Shreya maa, are you busy now? Can you come to me for a second?”

Shreya wipes her eyes and answers,

“Yes baba, I am coming within five minutes.”

Ranjan is just walking around in his study room. He is looking for a way to comfort Shreya. He doesn’t know what kind of speech can actually motivate a mother to kill her own child. He is so helpless that can’t find any word to start the conversation. Shreya will come any moment that makes him restless inside, so, he starts walking around the room.

Shreya comes and says,

“Yes baba, you are looking for me.”

“Yes Shreya, can you please sit here, I need to discuss something.”

Shreya go straight and sits on the vacant chair of the study table. Ranjan also pulls his chair and places face to face.

“Shreya, I am making it straight I know it is a shocking information for you but just don’t break down. Please.”

Shreya does not reply anything, she sits silently as a stone sculpture. Ranjan Continues,

“You know Shreya, since our ancient time of evaluation all species have been experienced one thing common. Within male & female who ever has superior physical strength, they dominate their counterpart. In the world of Hyena, Killer whale or Elephant where nature makes female is the stronger species, there they set the rules. In case of human male has taken an advantage, so that they design our entire society as per their convenience and make it in such a way that their beneficial position remains for ever. So, as a woman in every step of life, you need to work more, walk more, fight more & scream more to get same thing which a male can get without any extra effort. May be most of the men will deny upfront that they actually scare of a woman due to her immense potential, as a result they try to restrict them from right to education to entering a temple.”

Ranjan’s excitement is overflowing in his body language. The rage, which he has locked in his heart for so long, seems it finds a way out. Ranjan continues with the flow,

“Most wise thing in this world is nature. You see the paradox of male – Nature is always called a mother. They never get the audacity to call her in different name in any civilisation. That wise old mother nature always chooses a female to be a productive species, all across. Why? Why not a male has been privileged to be a part of creating life, the most amazing mystery which is not solved yet. I have my own theory Shreya, that mother nature knows that creating life and carrying it for so many days with your own body and tolerate that intolerable pain during the birth need lots of core energy, patience and true affection. Male neither has it nor earns it. Male knows that the secret source of power, which run the entire circle of life, is always the female. That’s why god has been a woman since the beginning of time till the starting of civilisation. In civilised time, we, all men start modified the history and created the illusion, that male has all the superpowers.”

Talking so aggressively for quite long, Ranjan gets exhausted, he puts some water in the glass and then gulps it in one shot. He looks closely to Shreya; she is still sitting like a life less model. Ranjan is not sure that Shreya listens his words or not, he comes close to Shreya and puts his hand over Shreya’s Shoulder and says,

“Shreya, are you ok maa?”

Shreya can’t hold it anymore. A genuine touch of affection melts her completely. She breaks into a loud cry. All pains are now converting into salty water and flows through restlessly. Ranjan knows that he needs to wait till the time these tears flow out from her.

After some time, Shreya able to calm down and she eventually makes herself composed. Ranjan is quietly waiting till then. Once he is sure that right time has come, he says,

“Shreya, I do not call you here to listen a theoretical lecture of mine, I just want to tell you that you are not alone here. I am with you. We will find out a solution to get this baby girl in this mortal world.”

Shreya just looks at him with hope and then says,

“How it can be possible baba? You know maa never let that happen and Rajat does not have enough courage to stand against her or this family tradition. I am not seeing any hope. I am dying inside every second for this helpless situation”

“You don’t worry about all these. Let me work out something on it. You need to take care of your health and be cheerful. These two things are very important for upcoming baby girl. So, don’t neglect all these. Leave the rest part on me”

After a very long time Shreya smiles properly. It can be resembling with a ray of sunshine breaks through a dark cloud. She is finally relaxed. She starts leaving the room but suddenly she stops and returns to Ranjan. She touches his feet and seeks blessing from him. Then Shreya says,

“I always have that doubt in my mind but today I am confirmed.”

“What?” Ranjan asks in a surprising tone.

“You were definitely my own father in my previous life.”

Shreya leaves the room after saying the same. Ranjan’s hands are still trembling, how could she find it out. He never shares with anybody about his dream. Does the connection of love exist even next life? Ranjan does not know and he does not want to. He has a bigger challenge in hand. To comfort & bring back Shreya into normal life temporarily he commits that he will make things happen. But he knows he cannot, it is next to impossible, get that girl safely. He is feeling guilt inside for cheating Shreya, but he has to. He can’t see Shreya in that fashion anymore. Ranjan gets up from chair and stands near the window.

Outside, it is late afternoon of early October. A blue sky with full of bright sunshine & white clouds are floating like a cotton wool. Nobody notices that from Ishanya angle a big dark cloud slowly approaching. A deadly storm on his way.


CHAPTER SIX

 

Someone is calling her name. Shreya is not able to hear it properly. It is like she is floating within a deep blurred dark water. Those voices are coming from above the water, from too far and too faint. She feels nothing but she is in deep peace.   

Shreya can’t answer her even she wants to. She is eventually feeling that it is not a single person around her, there are bunch of people. They are talking to each other, but she can’t understand that properly. Her eyes are totally shut but she feels a bright sunlight reflecting over her eyelids. She is slowly floating upwards of water level; she can now see the lights above the blue water. After some unsuccessful attempt, she can open her eyes a little, slowly the vision is coming back. She is standing in front of a large mirror. Her entire body is covered with sea green colour algae. She is trying to remove this, but she can’t move her hand at all.

Someone keeps on calling her name loudly and repeatedly.  Now it is more closure, now she can understand the words,

“Shreya open your eyes. Shreya?”

Shreya now can hear properly; a lady is calling her name. She opens her eyes but immediately squeezes it due to bright light. She can hear now. Someone says,

“Please check the vitals.”

“All normal but pressure is falling not stabilised yet.”

“Saturation?”

“94%”

One lady asks again Shreya,

“Open your eyes Shreya?”

Shreya finally opens her eyes completely. She is getting her senses back. She is lying over the operation theatre bed. In overhead some big shining steel plates are hanging which reflect like a mirror. Her body is covered with a sea green apron. She is here for her abortion and by now it is done. She lost her Anisha. As the effect of anaesthesia is fading out from her brain, more her heart getting burned. She just killed her own daughter, her own Anisha. Anisha didn’t even know why she was forced to die before her birth. What was her fault? Shreya says in her mind,

“Please forgive me Anisha. I am not eligible to be your other. I could not save you, my daughter. Please forgive me. Forgive me please.”

This time Shreya does not cry, all the tears are already evaporated. Her eyes are dry as a desert. Too much pain does not melt with tears, it becomes a black hard stone and stays in our heart, for ever.

Shreya closes her eyes. Doctor starts the procedure to transfer her to cabin from operation theater.

Fifteen days before

Shreya was feeling relived after talking to Ranjan. In this entire turbulence he was the only shelter for her. But one thing still was pinching in her mind, would Ranjan be able to save Anisha? She had no doubt on Ranjan’s intent, but she could not able to see the confidence in his eyes. His statement was more or less like a casual one, lack of deeper conviction. Shreya was trying to remove those thoughts from her mind, forcefully. That was the only & only chance for her to save her child. She was also in some doubts. It was complete chaotic confusion within her mind. Once she was thinking that might be the best for all to follow the rule of family and lived peacefully, it was just one abortion only. People now a days did it without any bindings and guilt. Things are changed now, people aborted their child for silly reasons, like job promotion, financial planning, didn’t feel to be a mother in this phase of life etc. So why she could not. Once it was done, things would be back in normal. Everything would be set as like before. Lots of cases people got miscarriage for their first child, Shreya would also consider this in such a way, what was the harm.

Shreya kept on thinking such things in her head and reached their bedroom. She was absent minded, otherwise she would be able see that weather outside was changing very rapidly. No more golden shining sunlight, entire sky was covered with deep dark clouds. Roaring thunderbolts were striking now and then. A splash of strong cold wind brought Shreya back to reality. She slowly moved to near the window. Storm already started, wind became wild and small piles of dust on the streets were dancing randomly with it. It was visible that rain was approaching slowly across the city skyline. Form far it was look like a white silk net eventually cover the entire city from one end to other. After few minutes, it was raining cats & dogs, the whole world outside became white and blurred.

Tiny splits of rain droplets were floating with wind, which gave Shreya a chilling sensation. She was about to shut the window; her eyes were caught by an unusual incident. Sewage drain, beside the road, flowed like a young Himalayan river with a very strong current. A yellow cat was trying to jump into that high flow of water which was against the basic nature of whole cat family. Shreya looked curiously, what this cat was doing, violating its basic instinct.  After some time, she realised that, this cat became mother of six babies few days back. She took shelter below the window of the opposite side building. Probably a strong blow of wind pushed one of her children from there into this drain. That mother cat was completely focussed on the flow of water and completely indifferent about all the odds she was facing there. Shreya’s heart was heavy, all most five or seven minutes already passed. There was all most no chance that little life could survive. Suddenly the mother cat jumped into the flow of water and stated swims very swiftly, Shreya followed her direction and saw that baby was somehow managed to hang with one broken drainpipe but slipping every moment dangerously. When the mother cat was few inches far away that baby dropped into the flow of water, the mother cat gave a deep drive and started swimming under water. Shreya held her breath and looking for them eagerly, but only strong current of mud water was visible. After few minutes, the mother cat float above the water but she was not alone, she brought her child back this time. Destiny finally compelled to bow in front of a mother’s fighting spirit.

Shreya shut the window. She took her decision. Her face was drenched but might be rainwater were not solely responsible for that, some of them were tears too.

Rajat just returned from office, he was on the way to his room, at then Nirmala called him from the corridor,

“Rajat can you please come down to my room. I need to discuss something urgently.”

“Do I need to come right now Maa or should I freshen up and then come?”

“As per your wish Rajat, but its urgent. Don’t delay so long.”

Rajat hesitated for some time and then moved to Nirmala’s Room.

Nirmala was sitting over bed, Rajat pulled the chair from corner and sat in front of her mother.

“Yes Maa, tell me.”

Nirmala came straight to the point and said,

“What is going on this house? Almost one week is gone after the clinics report, why you have not taken next course of action?”

Rajat looked at the floor intensely. Did not attempt to reply on it.

Due to the silence of Rajat, Nirmala got irritated more. She said,

“You know all the rules then what for you are still waiting.”

Rajat cleared his throat and said faintly,

“Maa, Shreya is very upset. She is mentally shattered. How could I ask her to abort the child at this mental condition? If I do the same forcefully then maybe I lost her for ever. She needs some time to stabilise herself.”

Nirmala could not suppress her disgust, she said to Rajat in a hissing tone,

“This is totally your fault. I told you before, that don’t get married with this girl. Get married as per our choice, at least we should not face this kind of soap opera type daily drama in this house. You know aristocrat family’s girls know that what are their priority.”

Rajat Said firmly,

“Maa, it is not possible now. I have to give some time to her.”

“Well, twenty third of October we have the biggest Laxmi puja of the year, I want this should over before that.”

“Maa, can’t we keep this girl?  How long we will continue this custom for the sake of empty aristocracy?”

Nirmala didn’t say anything, she just looked straight to Rajat’s eyes and gave a very cold look like before. Rajat got up from chair and dragged himself out of the room. He knew what the meaning of that look was. Since his childhood this one look evaporated his all strength and now his left-over morality too.

Doctor Subrata Bakshi, a renounced gynaecologist in the city, was busy on scanning a test report of a patient. His concentration broke due to the noise of door opening. It was Rajat, his childhood friend and classmate too. He kept the documents aside and asked Rajat with a great smile,

“Hey man. What’s up? After a long time, you are here. How is life?”

“All is okey.”

Subrata noticed that Rajat appeared anxious and there was no sign of joy in his face for meeting his old friend after long time. Subrata said empathetically,

“What happens my friend? I think something goes terribly wrong in your life. Tell me, I may help you in somewhere. Before that let me know, what would you like to drink? Tea or coffee?”

Rajat held his hair tightly and stretched backwards and said,

“Nothing.”

Subrata did not respond anything. He was observing Rajat calmly.

Rajat said again,

“Coffee without sugar.”

Subrata placed order of two coffee over intercom and then sat attentively. Rajat briefed him entire story and his helplessness. After finishing the same Rajat Said,

“I don’t know Subrata, what should I do now? I am really not able to find any solution in either way.”

Subrata said,

“Abortion is now a days a very common matter. However, I personally don’t like this, but you know we are in medical business so sometimes our own likes & dislikes do not get priority. Any way my junior doctors basically handle these cases. So, if you want then, that can be arranged.”

“Subrata arrange it as soon as possible, let’s get it over. I can’t live in such tensed way all the time. I need my life and Shreya back.”

Subrata checked the dates and then said,

“Twenty second is the only date where operation theater is vacant in morning session. We can do it that day.”

“That’s great.” Rajat said.

Subrata placed his hand on chin and said thoughtfully,

“But Rajat You need to convince your wife. We can’t operate without her concern.”

“That I will manage Subrata. You booked the date.”

“Ok then, twenty second October is final.”

Rajat Smiled and left the chamber. Subrata waited for some time then picked up his mobile and dialled a number. After two rings another end picked up, Subrata said,

“Hello. Yes, your prediction is correct. Rajat just left my chamber.”

Subrata then started listening attentively other end instructions. After some time, he said,

“Okay. No issue I will arrange everything in orders so that it can be done flawlessly as per your instruction.”

Rajat wanted to come out from this situation desperately. He was not able to handle this dilemma, still he believed that this abortion is a small incident only. But in his mind, someone kept on saying that something grossly wrong somewhere in this total process. He failed to find out the satisfactory peace of mind he was looking for, even after finalisation of abortion date.

That night Rajat observed that Shreya was behaving almost normal, he thought Shreya might finally accept the truth and ready to follow this family’s custom. He was quite relieved, already seven days passed after his discussion with Nirmala. He thought this is the right time to discuss the same and informed her about the date he booked.

He initiated the conversation,

“Shreya, I was thinking something.”

Shreya replied normally,

“About what?”

“No, I was just thinking that, we should complete the procedure as early as possible. More we delay it will be more difficult for you.”

Shreya replied absentmindedly,

“What procedure you are talking about.”

Rajat was little surprised but still he wanted to make it clear, so, he said with irritation,

“I am talking about the abortion Shreya, where is your attention now a days.”

Shreya didn’t reply anything. She just sat and kept on folding the old cloths as she was doing earlier.

Before Rajat said something further, servant came announced that dinner had been served. Raychaudhuri family always had dinner in a fixed time and together.

It is an old but elegant six-seater dining table, made by pure teak wood, they inherited. A bright but soothing light with half dome was hanging over the table. They usually left vacant two side chairs and sat face to face during the dinner. However, Nirmala did not like too much talk during dinner but still they spoke each other in general. That day Shreya sat opposite of Ranjan instead of Rajat. It was nothing unusual, they rotated their positions as per their choice and convenience of each day.

During the dinner Rajat initiated the same topic in front of four of them,

“Maa, today I have visited the clinic and twenty second will be the date. I think same day they can release Shreya by evening.”

Ranjan & Shreya understood about what Rajat was talking about. Shreya did not pay any attention to his statement. She was continuing her dinner as Rajat was talking about some general topic like, what the weather for tomorrow would be.”

Nirmala observed Shreya very keenly and then said,

“Well, then matter is settled. But you know next day we have big Laxmi puja in home, so I could not go along with Shreya. So, you may need to accompany her.”

Rajat nodded her head like an obedient son.

Ranjan frowned his eyes and gave a sarcastic look to Rajat.

Shreya suddenly asks,

“Maa, do you know a good kantha (one sort of comforter for new-born baby with typical long stich, usually made by old sarees) stitching person here? I have already sorted out the old cloths for upcoming girl.”

Nirmala choked violently, Ranjan put some water on the glass and helped Nirmala to settle down. Then Nirmala said,

“What are you talking about? We already made the decision.”

“That’s all of you have decided on behalf of me. But I have taken my decision, I will save this girl at any cost. So, I will definitely give birth this girl. I am ready to take head on with any one in this world to do this.” Shreya said it very firmly.

Rajat stood up and shouted,

“Are you become insane? What is this nonsense you uttering? Let me clear one thing, if you want to stay as my wife and daughter- in - law of this family then you must do it. Or else…” Rajat stopped in midway & kept the sentence incomplete.

Shreya said,

“Or else what, I need to go out of this house that you mean probably, well I will do that to save my girl. I can sacrifice everything I have but can’t sacrifice my child. You have forgotten one thing, a woman, first a mother then all other roles of life. I am leaving this house tomorrow morning and leaves you too”

Nirmala smiled and said,

“Calm down Shreya, world outside is not so nice for a single mother as it appeared to be. Let me tell you a story which I got it from my mother-in-law & she got it form her grand mother-in-law. The story about our seventh king of this family. He had five queens & one of those queens got pregnant and not informed the king. She gone to visit her mother’s house and stayed there till the time she gave birth a girl child. Queen was frightened, if king got to know it’s a girl then he would kill her. She moved with her child in a hidden place for immediate safety. Then she made a secret escape plan from the reach of king and set everything ready. When her family came to wish a good journey to her on next day morning, they found both are dead. Moral of the story is that man of this family can go to any extend to protect their honour and pride. Not only this family, you might observe in newspaper that still honour killing exists in our society. So be wise and act accordingly.”

Ranjan then said loudly,

“Will you please shut your mouth Nirmala. Why are you making things so dirty?”

Then he looked at Shreya and said,

“Shreya, please don’t make this difficult for all of us. Please go with Rajat as par schedule and get it done. Please understand that this is the cost you must pay for getting married to this cursed family. Please no more argument Shreya. This is the only way which is better for each of us. You have to trust me.”

Its like earth had been shaken for Shreya, even Ranjan was supporting them too. She was so alone in this fight. Ranjan was her last hope. How could he cheat her such a way? Why he lighted the lamp of hope in front of her that day? She was broken apart after Ranjan’s last statement. She held her emotion and said,

“Well, baba, I will do as per your orders only. But after this I will leave this house for ever. Nothing can hold me here further.”

Then she poured water on her dinner plate and walked away.

Shreya is in half conscious state, it’s a mixed feeling of reality and dream. So, she is not sure that whatever she observed or hear, those are her reality or imagination. She has been transferred to cabin now. Rajat moves to Shreya’s cabin and says,

“Hi Doctor, when you will be going to release her?”

Doctor Isha is writing the notes for patience and giving relevant instruction to nurse. She turns to Rajat and says,

“Mr. Raychaudhuri, you should have been informed us prior hand that your wife has cardiac complications. We almost lost her. We were not able to bring her in sense.”

Rajat looks to her foolishly. He has no clue about it. After a certain pause he says,

“How is she now? Is she ok? Can I take her home today evening?”

“No. You can’t. I need to keep her in twenty-four hours observation. If everything be okay, then maybe I release her tomorrow morning. Now please wait outside, patient needs rest.”

Next day morning, Shreya is looking through her cabin’s window. Her vision is blank. Nothing is captured on those beautiful eyes; only bluish tint of her eyes is metaphorically signifying the pain inside which she is going through. She is completely indifferent to surroundings or else she would notice that Rajat already makes five entries and exit to complete the release procedure.  Finally, Rajat comes with broad smile & says,

“All done. Let’s go home, Shreya.”

Shreya replies absentmindedly,

“Hmm, where to go? Who’s home?”

“Our home Shreya. Please get ready quickly.”

Shreya looks at Rajat’s smiling happy face with a strange vision. Then she starts packing her things one by one.

It almost afternoon when they reach their house. Rajat is very happy today. Finally, he is out of this mess, family tradition remains intact & Shreya is also back in life. He feels proud about himself; he manages both the ends perfectly. He leaves alone Shreya in her room; she needs rest for some time. He moves to puja room to check how the preparation is going on.

In last two hours, Shreya packs her all thigs in two big trolley bags. She scans the room; no, nothing left out here all packed, except the memories of all shades.

She goes straight to Ranjan’s room. Ranjan is reading a book which blocks his view. So, he does not know Shreya has come until he feels the touch of her hand in his feet. He puts the book down and place his hand over head. Then he says,

āpadāmāpantΔ«nāṃ hito’pyāyāti hetutām

mātαΉ›jaαΉ…ghā hi vatsasya stambhΔ«bhavati bandhane

(When calamities befall, even a well-wisher becomes a cause of them, it is the leg of the mother that serves as the pillar for tying the calf.)

Few drops of tears fall on Shreya’s hand. She looks upwards. Ranjan then says painfully,

“Maa Shreya, if possible, please forgive me for all of these.”

“Baba, I have no grievance against anybody. Bless me only one thing that almighty makes me strong enough so that I can carry my duties properly in future.”

Shreya left the room in small steps. Ranjan keeps standing silently, alone.

In this entire house Nirmala’s favourite room is Puja room. This room has been crafted very beautifully and with a long patience to make each part of this room absolute perfect. The whole floor of this room was made by two stones, marble & granite, in a shape of rhombus, placed alternatively. In eastern corner of the room, a big throne made of ivory is situated which is equally decorated with golden leaf. Three feet tall, two idols of Lord Narayan & Devi Laxmi are placed perfectly within the throne. In front of idols two big oil lamp stand which has five flame head in each of them.

Today is the biggest Laxmi Puja of the year, Nirmala wears a white garod silk saree with a golden designed red border across it, a traditional Bengali dress for puja. She finishes the chopping of different fruits and vegetables which will be needed for todays puja. Rajat just informed that Shreya has left the house for ever & he ran to find her. Nirmala does not understand the nature of this girl, may be a generation gap. This is just an abortion but the way this girl behaves before and after, its too much. She never likes this girl, so if she left that’s good news. She will arrange a remarriage of Rajat & this time in her choice. Nirmala suddenly feels happy inside, finally she wins.

She washes her hand then sits in front of throne. The priest will come any time. She starts singing her regular prayer of Devi Laxmi by closing her eyes,

Eso maa lakshmi bosho ghore.

Amar e ghare thako alo kare.”

(Hey mother Laxmi, please come and sit in my home. Stay in my home for ever as a divine light.)

Suddenly she hears a baby girl giggling sound just near to her ear. She startles and starts looking all around, but she is alone in this room, then she asks in a shivering tone,

“Who is talking? Who is there? Answer me now?”

That baby girl voice again whispers to her ears,

“you are praying for me for so long, but I came twice to you, but you killed me each time, Maa”

Nirmala can’t handle anymore, she falls on the floor unconsciously, the lamp stand also falls with her. Fire is catching up all the things around it very fast. Fire makes a red circle of flames around Nirmala and is slowly reducing his distance with Nirmala.


CHAPTER SEVEN

 

Flight attendant just announces that this flight is going to land in Singapore within a half an hour. Passengers are requested to close all electronic devices now. Rajat yawns lazily, then shuts down his laptop & puts that in his side bag. Then he looks outside through the small oval shape window of aircraft; flight is still flying above the clouds. It’s like a magical world, in ninety degree angle a bright soft orange sun & below there are cotton candy like, wet and orange tinted fields of clouds. Rajat can’t take back his eyes from the window. Rajat’s life has changed a lot in last five years. In literary terms that can be described as a paradigm shift. Rajat never wanted to move outside of Kolkata. He was quite happy with his job and his small own world within the by lane of north Kolkata. That Rajat merely spend four months in Kolkata cumulatively in last five years. Last five years he voluntarily approached to management for all on site offshore projects & was moving across the globe. Not only that he starts working all the time. He makes him all ways super busy in all the places, only work nothing else.

Rajat still can’t forget that Laxmi Puja’s day, five years back. Everything changed in his life since that single day. He had no clue that a cyclone of incidents was coming to his life and ruined everything. Even today he can’t sleep properly in night, all those incident one after other haunts him in forms of nightmares. He makes himself so busy in work and keeps himself away from that city, still he could not escape his past. He always tries to run away from his guilt, but he cannot. Whenever he sees any baby girl around his vicinity, his feelings of guilt returns form nowhere.  But this is not supposed to happen. This is not what Rajat planned for. He was quite happy that day.  He can visualise that day in detail even after five years.

Rajat just dropped Shreya into her room and moved to puja room to check how was the preparation going on for big Laxmi puja. He returned to his room after roaming here & there for some time. He fell in his bed & started thinking that all were passed well, why not he and Shreya planned for a vacation. That could change Shreya’s mood also & he could repair their relationships too. He said to himself in mind that day in dinner table he behaved very rudely to Shreya which he should not.

His chains of thoughts were broken when he saw Shreya entered the room. Rajat said very casually,

“You should have taken rest properly now, in the evening there will be a lot of guest. Already you are tired and there is an effect of medicines on you. Why you are roaming around just like that?”  

Shreya didn’t bother to reply him. She brought two trolley bags from wardrobe and got ready to leave. Rajat now observed that Shreya still ware the same dress as it was in hospital. Then he noticed that two big bags in front of Shreya. These all could not make any sense to him initially, but suddenly it reminded him Shreya’s few lines of dinner table discussion. Did she really mean those lines? He jumped on his feet and held Shreya’s hand and asked,

“Hey, where are you going now?”

Shreya removed her hand from him and said,

“As agreed Rajat, you and your family want this abortion, so I did it. Now I need to fulfil the commitment I made to myself. I am leaving you and your family for ever. Please stay aside from my way.”

“What absurd things you are talking about. It can’t be true? How you can leave me. We love each other. I love you.”

Shreya smiled sarcastically.

“Where was your all those loves, when I begged your support to save our own daughter. When I asked you to let leave these worlds of pseudo aristocracy, brutal family tradition and set our own small happy family of three, somewhere else. Why did you step back then? Most importantly that night you told me that either I do as you said or else leave this house. So, I am doing the same; what is the problem with you now?”

“That night I told you those words in anger, did not mean it really. I never want you to go out of this house. Please don’t do this, please.”

“It’s already too late Rajat. I can’t stay a single minute in this house anymore.”   

Shreya pushed Rajat away and moved through the door. Rajat was completely direction less what he would do next. He ran to Ranjan’s room and screamed,

“Baba, Shreya is leaving. Please stop her. She will listen your words. Baba please.”

Ranjan was sitting ideally looking at the celling blankly, he turned his head and looked straight to Rajat and said,

“Let her go Rajat. Don’t hold her in this dirt further.”

“Baba, what are you saying. We need to stop her. I can’t let her go, baba.”

“You can’t let her go but you actually murdered her that day when you put her technically in a position, where no option left apart from kill her own daughter. She left you that day my son. That same day.”

Rajat shrugged his shoulder in frustration and ran to Nirmala, in puja room. She shouted at Nirmala,

“Maa, Shreya is leaving us for ever. Please stop her.”

Nirmala was cutting some fruits for puja. She stopped for a moment and then again started the same.

Rajat again asked Nirmala impatiently,

“Maa?”

“What? Why you are so worried for such small issue? In extreme scenario, she will go to the nearest bus stop or else in her father’s house, after two or three days she will return automatically. If not, then you visit once she will come with you gladly”

Rajat murmured,

“No Maa, you don’t know her; she would not”

Rajat again ran towards gate to stop her but she was not there. He started looking for her in all possible nearby places, but she was nowhere.

He was running like a mad from one place to another, in between as the evening had started spreading her wings across, it was getting dark. Rajat saw their head priest was running towards him by calling his name loudly. Rajat also moved towards him, he thought that, might be Shreya returned to home and priest was coming to inform the same.  

Head priest was an old man and bulky in nature, so, running made him completely exhausted. He was out of breath for some time then said,

“Choto Babu, please come home with me. A big mishap happened in pooja room. Your mother….”

He stopped there with a hesitation.

Rajat asked impatiently,

“What happened to Maa, tell me now.”

“I came as per pooja time of today. Once I entered the pooja room, I saw entire room was on fire and room completely chocked with dark smoke. I was not able to breath even. I was initially not able to notice that your mother was fallen there. I opened some windows and asked others to help too. We bought some water and tried to bring down the fire under control. Your mother had found senseless in front of throne. If we were little more late it was difficult for her to survive.”

Rajat ran towards home kept the discussion incomplete. He was worried for his mother.

Once Rajat came to home, Ranjan already left for hospital along with Nirmala. Old servant of house informed him that Ranjan asked Rajat to stay at home only, So, that he could inform the upcoming guests about this incident and returned them with complete courtesy.

Rajat slowly entered the pooja room. It was all most completely burned. Still some red radiance was coming from left-over fire from different positions of the room. Those radiance and the smell of burning woods was creating an eerie environment over there. Rajat looked at both the idols, in this low red light and darkness, Devi Laxmi did not appear as an affectionate, caring mother. She looks like a Devi Kali, the destroyer. Rajat closed his eyes in fear.

Rajat opens his eyes due to a big jerk from ground. Flight finally touches the tarmac of Changi airport. His connecting flight to Kolkata is almost after six hours. He is returning home after one year approximately. Now he is not sure that he should call that building as a home or not. After that incident, Nirmala backed in senses after two days, but she completely lost her mental balance. She could not recognise anyone of them. She was just kept on saying repeatedly,

“Hey girl, just get out from here, don’t touch my saree. It is too dirty.”  And started cleaning her saree with hand even there is no dirt at all. Sometimes she just screamed,

“No, I shall not listen your voice, your any word, get out from my room, you little witch. I want to sleep. Why don’t you let me sleep?”

Rajat consulted lots of Doctors but they could not help Nirmala. Majority of doctors believed that exposure for long time in smoke, oxygen supply to her brain dropped to a lethal level. It was very adversely affected her brain tissues, as a result, she lost her mental balance completely.

Now Nirmala stayed in mental asylum. There was no option left for Rajat apart from putting her there. Ranjan every weekend visits her, but she can’t recognise him even now.

Shreya didn’t pick up his call or responded to his thousands of messages since she had left the house. Within all that chaos one fine morning, Somnath appeared to their house but not as a father-in-law, as an advocate of Shreya and handed over the divorce petition of Shreya. Rajat could not believe the same, he initially thought that he would not sign it and give a fight. However, Ranjan stopped him and convinced that mutual separation was the best for both. Shreya was so adamant that she never appeared even in this entire separation procedure. Her father handled all her part as an experienced advocate.

Rajat takes his bag and looks for a comfortable sitting cum resting place, spending six hours in airport is always irritating for him. He finally decides to go to the nearest lounge, at least crowd will be less there. He chooses a corner seat of the lounge. He keeps his handbag there and moves to buffet counter for some food. When Rajat returns; he sees an almost four-five years old girl playing with her doll just beside his seat. She was not there when he left the seat few minutes back.

Rajat always tries to avoid any interaction with kids in general, because they all remind him the death of his own daughter. He can’t forgive himself for that sin, yet. But this girl draws his attention automatically, because she is speaking Bengali. Sitting in foreign airport if you hear someone speaking in Bengali just beside you and that does not draw your attention completely, then you are not a Bengali at all. Rajat concentrates what she is saying, but she is actually not saying she is scolding her doll for not having food properly. Rajat smiles after a long period from his heart.

Rajat says politely,

“Hi.”

She replies after some pause,

“Hi.” Then she continues,

“Are you a stranger? Mom told me not to have any chat with stranger”

Rajat laughs loudly and then says,

“No, I am not a stranger. You tell me, any stranger ever talks to you in Bengali.”

She puts her hand in chin and looks upward and pretends as if she is thinking like a mature adult. Then after some time she says,

“Yes, you are correct, they all spoke to me in other languages.”

Rajat then asks with a smiling face,

“So, may I know who this young intelligent lady is, whom I am talking to?”

“Myself Gudiya, and this is my daughter Tozo.”

“Quite an adorable name your daughter has.” Rajat says with a very serious face.

  She frowns to him and looks sharply to judge that he is mocking her or not. But looking at his innocent kind face she says,

“Yes, she is. But you know she is very naughty. She doesn’t listen to any word of mine. I am so angry at her today.”

“So Gudiya, from where you are coming and where are you going?”

“I am coming from my Dadu’s house which is in Kolkata and now going to Sydney. I stay there. You know my vacation is over, so I need to resume school from next week.” She says very sadly.

Rajat Laughs loudly and then said,

“It’s a very bad news indeed.”

Gudiya looks with a pseudo anger. Then she also breaks into loud laughter.

Rajat and Gudiya keeps on talking and nobody can say that they met just few hours back.

After some time Rajat asks Gudiya,

“Don’t you feel hungry by now?”

“Yes, little bit.”

“Tell me what you would like to have? I shall bring for you?”

“Okay, then bring me some hot Gulab Jamun with vanilla ice crΓ¨me.”

Rajat astonishes with this statement, because he also likes this combination when he used to be very happy.

Rajat brings two plates of Gulab Jamun with vanilla ice cream on top of it. It is not easy for him because getting Indian sweets in Singapore airport is not a cake walk. Somehow, he manages to get both, but it takes little more time than normal. He is feeling very enthusiastic to do this nonsense job, running from one point to another to just make that girl happy. However, it is very exciting for him to see the smile on her face, when he presents her favourite dish. When Rajat finally reaches his seat, nobody is here. Gudiya already left for her flight. He asks the gentleman, sitting opposite her,

“Hi, have you seen that girl who was sitting near my seat?”

That man replies,

“Yes, she has gone few minutes ago with a woman.”

Rajat throws his body on the chair with full of lethargy, he puts both the plates on side table reluctantly. He doesn’t have any appetite left. He looks at his watch & surprises to see that three hours already passed but he doesn’t even realise. Gudiya is a special girl, he thinks in his mind, her parents will be so lucky and happy to have her. Even he does not want to remember, but it comes to his mind that, if he could not kill her own daughter, he would also be a proud father of a beautiful daughter like Gudiya. It is also true Rajat never feels so closeness with any other children like he have it for Gudiya. In few hours she has captured a lot of space of his mind.

Rajat slowly gets up to move for his designated departure gate number. He just looks last time to Gudiya’s seat, then he realises a boarding pass is hanging between arm rest and seat cushion, probably this one popped out from her jacket and stick there. Rajat thinks if it is for current flight then it will be a big problem for her, so, he picks it up and starts checking. No, it is not current flight, this one for Kolkata to Singapore earlier flight.

Rajat just collapsed on his chair suddenly. There is a black out for few minutes, he can’t believe, how this can be possible? But he is still holding the truth in his hand. The name is written over boarding pass very clearly, Miss. Anisha Raychaudhuri. Is this just a pure coincident? Rajat thinks quickly and gets up hurriedly. He just checks the display board and find the nearest time flights for Sydney and the gate no. he starts running towards that gate, he needs to confirm one thing before it’s too late.

When Rajat reaches desired gate of departure, he is completely exhausted and his face full of sweats. He asks the person who is standing at gate,

“The flight for Sydney?”

“Sir, boarding has been closed. Flight is ready to take off. Sorry sir, we can’t let in.”

“But I need to. It’s extremely important for me. Please help me.” Rajat literally begs in front of that person.

“Sir, I am so sorry but fights already started take off procedure. We can’t help you sir.”

Rajat thinks momentarily and then says,

“Then please help me in one case, I need to know details of two passengers.”

“Sir, that’s confidential, I can’t provide the same.”

“Please. Its my life and death situation. Please help me.”

Rajat holds the hand of that person and request.

He says,

“Okay sir, I can only provide names, nothing else”

“That will be enough. Please let me know, is there any kid traveling in this flight, called Anisha Raychaudhuri?”

After checking the computer monitor, he says,

“Yes Sir.”

“May I know the name of the other person who is traveling along with her?”

Rajat asks the question by holding his breath. There is so much adrenal rush right now in his blood, that he controls his excitement after a lot of efforts. Every second seems to be as if it is a full year for Rajat.

Finally, the counter person says,

“Sir, it is Miss Shreya.”

Rajat just does not believes what he hears. He smiles faintly and says,

“Thanks a lot.”

After that he starts walking slowly towards his designated gate of departure to Kolkata. However, his mid is full of two things, the pure happiness of knowing that his daughter is alive & more curiously how this is happened?

 Five years back: twenty second October: Kolkata

Shreya was sitting on a chair near the window. She was crushed inside. Loosing Anisha made Shreya completely empty. She was feeling so lonely at that time which was unbearable. A winter evening was covering the entire city like a dark cloak, outside.  She was thinking that how much pain Anisha took when she died, or she had just slept peacefully. Tears were rolling over her eyes continuously.

There was a knock on the door, Shreya turned her head towards door, it was Doctor Subrata Bakshi.

Subrata Said,

“May I disturb you madam for few minutes.”

Shreya wiped her eyes and said,

“Yes, Doctor please come in.”

Subrata pulled the chair near the window and sat in front of Shreya. Before Subrata said anything, Shreya asked,

“I don’t feel any issue regarding my health then why you have put me in observation?”

Subrata smiled and said,

“Yes, you are correct. You are absolutely okay and we could release you in morning too. But we have strict instruction to retain you here for today”

“Instruction? Why is such instruction for me? And who is that person giving such instruction to me?”

Subrata kept hanging his smile and was enjoying the statement of Shreya. He said,

“Madam, these instructions were given by Ranjan uncle.”

Shreya was completely perplexed. Why Ranjan gave such ridiculous instruction to Subrata. What gain he would have by detaining Shreya here. She could not think about anything. She looked at Subrata with an inquisitive vision. Subrata clear his throat and said,

“Madam, I need to tell you something. Before Rajat came to me for your abortion, Ranjan uncle called me and informed that Rajat might visit me any day for this purpose. He also told me that the moment Rajat visited me, I should inform him immediately. I did the same. Basically, he wanted to save your child.”

Shreya released a long breath and said,

“It’s already over. She is dead. I could not save her.” Shreya sobbed.

Subrata gave some time to Shreya to calm down. Then he said,

“Madam, I am here to inform you one thing that in the morning we just did only anaesthesia to you, not the abortion. Your child is completely safe and alive. We do it as per Ranjan uncle’s instruction only. He gave me the instruction clearly and how to execute the same. Apart from me, Ranjan Uncle and Doctor Isha only know it. Ranjan uncle also send a message to you that, you should leave your in-laws’ house as early as possible for ever. So that they never know that your child is alive. We detained you so that after the effect of medicines are gone then we can explain the situation to you properly”

Shreya was speechless. Her Anisha is alive. Nothing more she required in this life. She looked up and prayed to the god for saving her daughter with folded hands. Subrata left silently. Shreya picked up the phone and dialled a number. It was Somnath.

Ranjan stands near the railing of balcony. Few times back servant informs him that Rajat just comes home from airport. Ranjan is watching those birds for quite some time, quietly. They are building their nest by bringing very small parts of straw each time, piece by piece. There are two birds, one male and another female. Ranjan is amazed by seeing their level of coordination, dedication & patience to build their small home. Ranjan thinks in his mind, if a creature who is gifted with flying ability can understand the value of home and can spend so much time to build it, then why a human can’t learn it from them. Why we can’t make harmony with our partners, can’t make a small happy family with mutual understanding, cooperation, dedication & patience. Ranjan does not know the answers yet but he is hopeful.

Ranjan’s phone vibrates. Notification for one message is showing in the screen. Ranjan opens it.

“Baba, we reached Sydney safely. One thing more yesterday I saw Rajat talking to Anisha. I didn’t reveal myself or Anisha. But Baba am I doing wrong by keeping Anisha away from his father?”

Ranjan types,

“No Shreya, Rajat earns this punishment for himself by his own actions. Unless he passes this test of fire Anisha should keep away from him. Time has changed Shreya, no more women will do, now man has to prove his purity of thoughts & soul by walking through the fire, time and time. God bless you”

After sending the message. Ranjan looks at sky and starts reciting,

āstāṃ tāvadiyaαΉƒ prasΕ«ti-samaye durvāra-Ε›Ε«la-vyathā

naairucyaαΉƒ tanuΕ›oαΉ£aαΉ‡aαΉƒ malamayΔ« Ε›ayyā ca sāṃvatsarΔ« |

Δ“kasyāpi na garbha-bhāra-bharaαΉ‡a-kleΕ›asya yasyā: kαΉ£amo

dātuαΉƒ niαΉ£kαΉ›tim-unnato’pi tanaya: tasyai jananyai nama: ||

(The acute irrepressible pain endured by the mother at the time of delivery, the distaste towards food and the resulting emaciation of the body during pregnancy, the year-long period after delivery, during which the bed was dirtied by the baby – let all these be. But the suffering that the mother endures in carrying the weight of the foetus throughout pregnancy, can never be compensated the least by a son, even if he is great and famous. Salutations to that mother.)


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Comments

  1. Eagerly waiting for next chapter..

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  2. Very intriguing!!

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  3. Nice story.engaging..waiting for further chapters

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  4. Nice concept.. Good attempt.. Let's see how new chapters unfold their story. Also, check on the grammar in the write ups.. Good luck.. πŸ‘πŸ‘

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  5. Very Interesting Story!!! Waiting for more to come

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  6. A good read indeed. Waiting for more to come !

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  7. Intresting story eagerly waiting for the next chapter...☺️

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  8. Waiting for the next chapter πŸ™‚πŸ‘Œ

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  9. Chapter 3 sums up Chapter 1 & 2. Amazing Story πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

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  10. Intresting story eagerly waiting for the next chapter...������

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  11. Very interesting, the flow of the story is going good

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  12. Very catchy and interesting

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  13. Very interesting.

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  14. Very articulate πŸ‘πŸ»

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  15. Amazing Story, waiting for next chapter.

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  16. Very interesting story, waiting for next chapter.

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  17. Nice.
    Need more chapter for read.

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  18. Amazing... Waiting for next chapter Sir.

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  19. Chapter 7 was indeed a very good Chapter written. Mainly the role played by Ranjan was amazing πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

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  20. Wow amazing.heart toughing story😍❤️πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ™πŸ€°πŸ€±πŸ‘£πŸŒΉπŸ’πŸŒ„πŸ’ž

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  21. Himanshi Bhatt18 June 2020 at 16:21

    Well done sir ��

    ReplyDelete

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